Nothing Can Go Wrong
by infiniteviking
Summary: There are good days there are bad days, and there are days that simply exist.... Ensemble, first published in 'Ampersand'.


First published in _Ampersand_, an online fanzine for Original Series genfic (pointy-ears dot com slash ampersand).

**Nothing Can Go Wrong**

Captain's Log, stardate 6432.6, 0700 hrs

It's five days now after our visit to the Batar Facility on Alcaid V, and I can confidently say that I am now able to put those horrible hours behind me. My final report was beamed back to Starfleet yesterday, and we're on our way to Mintaka on a supply run as routine as supply runs can get.

Morale is at a record high. The ship was never in better condition; even the replicators are working perfectly. My coffee tastes like coffee. That's got to be some kind of fluke.

If nothing happens, I won't even get to the bridge until my watch actually begins. The mind boggles.

-----

Console-to-console messaging, 0746 hrs

hSulu wrote: watch the captain

pChekov wrote: what?

hSulu wrote: he's obviously gone mad

pChekov wrote: thats only to be expected. but how can u tell?

hSulu wrote: shh he's looking

pChekov wrote: so what, all officers with stations chat on watch, he probably did same thing when he was ensign

hSulu wrote: watch right hand when he opens channel

pChekov wrote: he pushes the button neatly instead of hitting it with his fist! what is the world coming to? russian captain would never do that

hSulu wrote: for once i agree

-----

Simplified status report, 0835 hrs

Position: latter third of Alnitak dust cloud.  
Speed: Warp 5.  
Heading: 0.3452.  
Vector: Mintakan supply line, 66355oooooJ76636.  
Destination: Etrosian Colony Five, Mintaka System.  
Projected arrival time: 1209 hrs, Stardate 6433.5

Signed: Commander Spock  
Countersigned: JTKirk  
_Note_: will you cut it out with the simplification, Spock? Your all-too-human captain can read sector coordinates almost as well as you can.  
_Note_: The report consisting, as always, of hypertext data carried by transistor hardware and a simple tabular program, it is difficult to apprehend what you wish me to 'cut' out of its supporting unit.  
_Note_: Sorry I asked.  
_Note_: Noted.  
_Note_: Chess at 1800?  
_Note_: As usual, if nothing intervenes.

-----

Extract from communications record, Stardate 6432

0940 hrs  
Captain required in sickbay for routine medical exam.

0943 hrs  
Chief medical officer required to bug off.

0949 hrs  
Captain notified of routine psychological exam to be scheduled at 0630 hrs tomorrow.

1000 hrs  
Chief medical officer notified that the Captain is on his way to Sickbay.

-----

pChekov wrote: what wrong with captain?

hSulu wrote: no clue, something about Alcaid?

nUhura wrote: Captain's left shoulder was hit by shrapnel. You should have read the report.

pChekov wrote: reports, reports, I'm not in security yet

pChekov wrote: I put off reports, no one I knew died this time

nUhura wrote: Thanks to him. Don't forget it.

-----

Medical diary, stardate 6432, 1237 hrs

Captain's shoulder has mended well; he shouldn't be feeling it anymore. I'll look at it again tomorrow. The _second_ most frustrating thing around here is dadblasted Starfleet's running us off to Mintaka without stopping off for replacement medical supplies. We've enough to tide us over if nothing happens, but that's frankly horsefeathers when it comes to this ship. Putting the Enterprise on a boring supply run is certain to cause trouble, and the suspense is driving us all nuts.

Personal log: It's hitting Jim the worst -- not quite bad enough to report, just right there on the edge where I can see it plainly. Greene and Callow never deserved to die that way. He's dealing with it, I think, but it can't hurt to drop over with a bottle of memories and spend a while talking them into the next life.

This evening, perhaps. If nothing gets in the way. And we all know how likely that is.

-----

Transporter chief's log, 1515 hrs

Transporter room is fully operational and completely deserted. As usual. I'll let you know if that changes.

1517 hrs -- hSulu wrote to wKyle: You do that. ;-B

-----

Ship's log, 1524 hrs

Shields raised due to debris caused by Alnitak micronebula. Estimated power drains up to 3.4885.

-----

Console-to-console messaging, 1525 hrs

wKyle wrote to hSulu: Still nothing...

hSulu wrote to wKyle: eyeroll

pChekov wrote to wKyle: hes busy, let him alone or the nasty cosmic dust will get us.

-----

Captain's Log, 1547 hrs

We've passed through Alnitak's treacherous micronebula. If estimates hold, we'll reach Mintaka by noon tomorrow. In the meantime, I've taken advantage of this singularly uneventful supply run to catch up on my files.

I have often argued, and will continue to do so, that Starfleet intelligence involves very little intelligence and far too much paperwork. Seems every time I turn around there's a yeoman waiting for me to sign something. Could wear a man's hand out -- or his eyes -- or waste precious seconds in a crisis. In a few days some poor soul back on Earth will be checking a copy of this very entry for errors in transcription. Well, I certainly hope he has fun.

-----

Extract from Pavel A. Chekov's personal log, 1614 hrs

Well, that was the longest shift I have ever been on. I think I am very lucky that the micronebula was only 13 parsecs in diameter, or we would still be up there and the shift would have been even longer. Why does navigator have to be on the bridge all day when the computer calculates coordinates and the helmsman does the steering? Moscow Space Corps were much more practical.

There will be a memorial service tonight. It is very sad. I do not think I will go.

-----

Captain's personal log, 1616 hrs

Blasted paperwork. When something happens -- it always does -- I am _not_ concentrating on checking off the quartermaster's daily report. Or any of those other self-perpetuating time-wasters. I'm on the Bridge, if I'm lucky, or in Engineering, or somewhere I can actually get something done.

My shoulder doesn't hurt; it's just phantom pain. Our feeble frames weren't made for McCoy's medical wizardry; my body still expects to be feeling something, so little time after Alcaid.

I know how it goes now. I'll feel it for a few more days, while Greene and poor Callow are fresh in my memories. Then another crisis will push it out of the way. There's no getting over a death in my crew. There's only getting past it, and that takes work, not time.

Even the stupid reports help. Marginally.

-----

Extract from personal communication

From: Uncle Montgomrey

To: The Whole Preston Family

Stardate 6432.6, 1730 hrs

..finally finished refitting the phase emitters in the port nacelle: sort of like giving her a new flight feather to keep her balanced. She's sailing like a swan now, lads. She's that braw, you can feel it right up through your boots -- not like some boring planet that won't give you the time of day no matter how well you pick up after yourself.

It's good to have her finally so well rigged. A strong crew needs a strong ship to keep their feet from dragging; and such a warm spell as this couldn't have come in a better hour. At certain times a captain will walk the ship of an evening, and when she purrs with such a life as this it's a thing to gladden his heart.

-----

BULLETIN BOARD

Enterprise 1701 / Stardate 6432 / Midshift / Activities

1800 hrs: Rec Room III -- Memorial concert

Nyota Uhura  
Snnanagfashtalli  
Reginald Pillsbury  
Barry Tixe  
Lisa Collins  
Jon Stanger  
Siphe Hdanag  
Harb Tanzer (Recreation)

1940 hrs: Rec Room IV -- Proactive self-defense, Session S7

Meditation  
Defending pressure points  
Aggravated choke holds  
Drills

-----

Extract from Nyota Uhura's personal log, 1720 hrs

..chose it for the memory of the times we sang it together. I'll light a candle for you, my friend. Tonight we say goodbye...

-----

Intership messaging, 1849 hrs

mScott wrote: Did anyone notice the game tonight?

lMcCoy wrote: yeah, 21 moves, two pieces taken, Captain ahead by one pawn, Spock checked once but has the advantage (like anyone didn't expect that)

mScott wrote: what are the odds?

lMcCoy wrote: two to one on Spock taking it or putting the Captain in check within thirty moves, four to one the other way, seven to one on a Kirk Gambit.

lMcCoy wrote: go check the Game Thread, they're analyzing it to bits.

mScott wrote: too thin for me, laddie, I'll come down myself next time.

-----

Recreation Officer's personal log, 2030 hrs

Well, that went off pretty good. If anything good can be said about a wake...

I would gladly nominate Nyota Uhura for a commendation -- not a crack in that silky voice -- she was close to Greene; it must have hit hard...

Captain stood at the back for a while. I think we got a tear. That's a good thing. Then he went off and threw the kids around in Self-Defense. He'll be all right. (Blish's elbow -- that's a different story.)

No interruptions; I'm grateful for that. Hairy moment on the bridge, I heard afterwards, with a misplaced planetoid -- over before it started, couldn't have broken a sweat about it. For once something went right.

-----

Chief medical officer's log, 2032 hrs

Confounded violent sports. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. And as for Blish and his trick elbow... nearly gave the captain a heart attack... and he thought he was caught up on the paperwork...!

Spock saw the whole thing, and I'll swear he smiled when he thought no one was looking.

Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or... laugh.

-----

Captain's personal log, 2140 hrs

The Enterprise has marked a previously uncharted planetoid drifting on an oblique vector through the dead space between Mintaka and Alcaid -- an icily corroded mass, falling forever like the frozen teardrop of a star. The course correction was so smooth I barely felt it. Five years ago they would have called me up to the bridge. My people are growing up.

Mintaka tomorrow, and then... somewhere else?

The ship is quiet tonight, with the graveyard shift about to begin. But we know our course -- we couldn't be more unlike that lone lost comet back there. This is a camp of the living, where even the ghosts are industrious, and we carry our own star with us through the night.

--END--

Disclaimer: I own no part of Star Trek. Nor do I own Lt. Snnanagfashtalli (from Vonda N. McIntyre's _The Entropy Effect_), Lia Burke and Harb Tanzer (from Diane Duane's _My Enemy, My Ally_), or Lt. Stanger (from J.M. Dillard's _Bloodthirst_), whom I have used here without permission but with deepest respect for a few of those authors who have made Star Trek worth reading:

Lt. Kyle was given no name in canon, but novelizations have generally used the first or last name of his actor, John Winston.

The name 'Blish' is a tribute to James Blish, who published the first actual Star Trek novel, _Spock Must Die_!

Thanks also to my brother for the transporter exchange. I'd never have thought of it alone.


End file.
